The girls you've known since kindergarten won't even talk to you anymore. You're not a kid anymore, the coddling's stopped. Rowley: Well, who's at the bottom? Fregley: Hey, guys! You wanna see my secret freckle? Greg & Rowley: EEEIt's got a hair in it!Īngie Steadman: It all starts in middle school, y'know. If things will go the way I think they will. I might even have a shot at the top spot by the end of the year. Greg: Rowley, if you had to say what you were ranked in terms of popularity from 1 to 200, where would you put yourself? Rowley Jefferson: Is 200 good or bad? Greg: I'd say you're somewhere around the 154 mark.

Frank Heffley: Why did I ever say no to him? Reporter #1: Gregory! Tell us about your childhood! Reporter #2: Were you always so smart and handsome? Greg: Here's my journal. Bully: Sissy! Greg: The only reason why I agreed to write in this thing, is because one day, when I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than answer people's stupid questions all day long. This just proves that Mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age. Yeah, I know what it says on the cover, but when my mom went out to buy this thing, I specifically told her not to buy the thing that says 'diary' on it. What? Let go, baby hippo!ĭialogue Greg Heffley: OK, first of all, let me get something straight, this is a journal, not a diary.It's the bass solo, Turd Burglar! Don't you know anything about music? Listen, I came here to get a new drumstick, and now Greg, since Mom and Dad are gone, I'm going to kill you.What did I tell you would happen if you ever went into my room again?.Who am I kidding? You'll be dead or homeschooled by the end of the year anyway. It's real simple: don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone, don't go anywhere, don't sit down, don't raise your hand, don't go to the bathroom, don't get noticed, don't choose the wrong locker, don't. Mom asked me to give you some advice about middle school. You know, Patty? One day you'll wake up and all the things you thought were important won't be anymore.You rejected the school paper, but you joined the Safety Patrol? Are you working your way down the evolutionary ladder?.This place is an intellectual wasteland, but it's nice to meet a person more interested in his mind than his body. Who let you into the school, Greg Heffley?.Come on! What are you waiting for, huh? Don't be such a wuss, Heffley.I guess this is where all the cool guys hang out.And so the Cheese sits, patiently waiting for its next victim. Thankfully, he moved back to Düsseldorf, and took the Cheese Touch with him. Sadly for Dieter, that fact was lost in translation. And so began the Cheese Touch frenzy! Friend turning on friend, brother turning on sister, it was madness! Until, a German exchange student named Dieter Müller took it away. The only way to get rid of the Cheese Touch was by passing it on to someone else. Darren had the Cheese Touch! It was worse than nuclear cooties. And then, one day, a kid named Darren Walsh made the biggest mistake of his life. So there it sat, growing more foul and powerful by the day. Nobody knows when or how, but one day, that cheese mysteriously appeared on the blacktop. STOP! Good God, man! You almost got the Cheese Touch.But in twenty years, Quentin here will be workin' for me. Right now, I have to take abuse from these morons.Thank God there are a few normal people or this place would be a total freak show.Let me just say for the record that I think middle school may be the dumbest idea ever invented.

Diary of a wimpy kid 2010